Things get a little more serious in Shondaland as we return to Scandal with the season 3 premiere. Over the first 2 seasons, we’ve gotten used to the generally ‘unpleasant’ (definitely our most commonly used word when it comes to Scandal) nature of the show, with just about all of the characters making us gasp in horror at least once or twice. Perhaps one exception to this might be David, who really put us in a state of shock for a minute there last season, but in the end turned out to be operating under triple agent status, placing him firmly back on the side of the truly goody good guys (if there are any).

 

In case you don’t remember: last season ended with a bang. Well, the breaking news of a bang, or several—the ones which took place between Olivia and the President. Olivia was hounded at her door by paparazzi, only to be whisked away in a limo where the ground shifted even further under our already scandalised feet. Luke, I am your father, said the menacing figure in black. Wait, wait, we mean Olivia, I am your father. That scary CIA guy who’s been pulling the strings of some pretty unpleasant puppets behind the scenes for the last season? That’s Daddy Pope.

So, we knew we were in for a rough ride when season 3 began, and we were not disappointed.

Kicking off in stylised black and white, we are thrown into the media storm that is the illicit affair of Olitz (Do we have to explain it? No. Okay then). The question still remains; who leaked Olivia’s name? Our best bet at this point is Cyrus, but could he really be that evil? Okay, he has had people killed, but come on, it’s Olivia, he’s like a father to her.

 

Speaking of fathers…Cut to Olivia in the car with Daddy Pope, pulling up to a private runway. It seems that daddy has decided that the best solution to Olivia’s problems- problems which he kindly points out arose because she “raised her skirt and opened her knees”- is to ship her off (Or rather plane her off) to god knows where.

 

We see where Olivia gets her hardcore speech-making skills from, though this speech is a little less heart-warming than the typical ‘white hat’ routine. Basically, he tells her she’s committed the trifecta of sins: she’s a woman, she’s black, and she’s imperfect. Daddy is not a pleasant man, and the world is not a pleasant place.  

 

Although, when he got to the part where he listed all the ways she could have aimed higher (“Chief of Staff, Press Secretary…First Lady”), it did take us a moment to realise he was inferring she was trying to *be* the First Lady, and not in fact suggesting that should have had sex with any of those people instead of the President (Hey, it would be interesting. Ease that tension between Olivia and Mellie?).

 

After this delightful diatribe, and announcing that he is “the hell and the high water” (oh, Daddy dearest), Olivia is actually persuaded to get on the plane, manned by people whose silence has apparently been bought. Does money fix everything? Apparently not, as Cyrus’s words of wisdom- of course she phoned him as soon as she sat down- win out, and by words of wisdom, we mean what every other person was saying: “get off the plane!” (Cyrus must be a big Friends fan) . Pretend Daddy is so much sweeter to Olivia than Actual Daddy. “I’m a monster, but honey, I’m your monster” (Awwww!).

 

Back at The White House, Sally is none too happy about being asked to support Fitz in the face of this latest scandal. She quickly shows her true, and dare we say ‘unpleasant’ colours, attacking Cyrus for his “Godless homosexual lifestyle, and that poor brown baby”, before moving on to Fitz, who is apparently “sleeping with whores” (Strong words from Dr Grey).  

 

Fitz gets all Presidential, clearing the room, and cracking open a bottle of scotch, which, it turns out, the VP likes, and neat at that. A sip later and Sally is back on side. Well, for now anyway. See, an apology- and a strong drink- always helps.

 

Outside Pope and Associates, One Direction appear to be in town- oh, wait, no, it’s just Olivia arriving at her office- with rabid paparazzi in tow. It’s business as usual, or so Olivia thinks. The phone is ringing off the hook with clients kicking The Gladiators to the curb, including, it seems, that woman Olivia once convinced to turn in her own son for rape (if you didn’t know how good this show was, you’d never believe it.) It’s all good though; Team Gladiators have her back.

 

On the case of the leak are Mellie and Cyrus, working independently. So does this mean we can officially score them out from our suspect list? In this show, who knows?

 

Back to one person we said we do seem to be able to trust: David Rosen arrives in Olivia’s office and dangles the ‘white hat’ in front of her in an attempt to convince her to be honest about her relationship with Fitz instead of allowing the mounting lies to be weaved into an ever more complicated web. (Nah, not gonna happen.)